hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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