Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
