I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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