You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
