My nipple is on Facebook.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
