Small penises have feelings too.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
