remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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