We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
