there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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