Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
