At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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