In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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