Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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