Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
