And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
