but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
