My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
