..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
vagina is talking i cant
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Even my vagina gasped.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
