I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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