all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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