Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
