I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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