Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize