You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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