I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
