i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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