i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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