i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have post one night stand depression
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize