return my video game
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
