It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Operation Purity has been aborted
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
