I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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