We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
