i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
