I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
