What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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