it was like his penis was on wheels.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
