I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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