Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
