i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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