i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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