Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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