I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
