her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
