My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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