Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
