The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
