I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
