So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
