Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
