Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
