it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
