just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize