its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
