I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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