I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
