She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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