Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
