Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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