Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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