She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
