How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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